Living on the edge. May 27, 2009; 1:30 a.m.

She saw a fly bugging me
She cares a lot about me
She made an effort to single it out
So that she could take it out.

She drew a picture in my mind
With emotions that were intense
She drew a picture in my mind
With actions that made the whole sense

She said she was away in the mind
She said she was with someone else
She was yet to figure out
Whether he was the one she was all about

She said it started with friendship
And it’s only few months ago
That she felt like letting go
She drew a picture in my mind
With emotions that were intense

We spoke about him
Without naming him
He is unmarried
And that mentally she was with him
She said atleast she belonged somewhere
Through those words
She made me feel the pain
Imagine the agony of being nowhere

I sighed. I sighed and I sighed.
And three deaths I died.
And she asked was I not happy
That she was happy?
For first time in many months
The silence spoke
Louder than words
In effort of not sighing
I lit my only brother again

I wished she wouldn’t have reached here
She didn’t deserve it
I wished I could’ve been there for her

She drew a picture in my mind
With emotions that were intense
She drew a picture in my mind
With actions that made the whole sense

Then she laughed
and scribbled on the picture
Saying there’s no truth in all this
Only fiction to feed my ready mind
The jubiliant pause that followed
Cautioned me as it passed by
The words may have formed a tale
But emotions & actions have to be asked why

She attempted to rub the picture
Alas! It wouldn’t go
I lit another brother
to help her efforts flow

That night I lay uneasy on the bed
Little happy more sad
Why did she have to do that
Play with my trust
When we had less
I thought we were building it
Now that we were together

I heard the morning birds
And I hoped it was all a dream
But I never slept
So how could it be?

The fly she attempted to kill
got back to me
This time it had grown in size
It will need quite a smoke to
strangle it out

There’s a part of me
unhappy and insecure
ask me not why
And there is a tiny particle in me
my only hope
That is feeling happy
Just knowing that she won’t
let me live without her
how long it will be able to hold on
I really don’t know
but I want it to win.