The Scintillating Night: October 26th 2009; 2:40 a.m.

Looking into the night
I see her sprinkled all across

Here
She is laughing
The brightness pulsating
With the presence of
Entire universe
There she looking
Intensely in to my eyes
And I am lost

A little far
The tiny on is chuckling
The way she does
The big one is happy
Revealing the pearly whites
The oscillating one
Must be the earrings
The fading one
Is her crying tear
The occassionaly brighter one
is her bugged mind

Spreading across the sky
Are her hair
Is that the color or is it
The halogen road lights
Giving her her that shade

Amidst all these
I see a falling star
I run to catch her
To hold her
To keep her with me
But she eludes me
I settle down again
To be with her again – all of her
Conversing, talking
Smiling my occasional happiness
Crying my fears

I am with her
She is with me
This night is mine
The moment is mine
But is she?

Life less than ordinary: October 4; 2009

Life is good.
Life is great.
Towards a successful loveless life…
...a quasi-successful love-life.

Fool: September 2009

Foolish mind wanders along
To catch a butterfly

Foolish words
Of a foolish mind
Striving hard
To find their meaning

The mad song
Of a mad mind
Trying to find a melody

The empty poem
Of an empty mind
Longing to fill in

Amidst the gush
Of the other river
The words got washed away
The song has drowned
The melody is absent
The meaning is lost
The poem in the words
Is missing

Hold on to some rock, words
Settle down in the river bed, song
Embed in the bottom, poem
Once the gush is over
I hope to find you

If not me, if not now
I shall ascend in peace
Knowing
That you have embedded yourselves
Deep down
Hoping
To find you
When I am born again

The Wait: Sept 3, 2009; 2:00 am

She doesn’t look at me
The same way I do
Life doesn’t look at me
The same way I do
Even death
Is attending to someone else

Meanwhile I exist
Waiting…..
Which of the three
Will reach me first.

Death & Moksh; August 20, 2009;

Pending desires and wishes
And shortage of breathe
is death

Pending breathes
And shortage of desires and wishes
is moksh

In this life
Moksh looks difficult.

The incomplete collage: August 17, 2009; 1:30 p.m.

I see a collage in the mirror
Made of your feelings
A patch of warmth here,
A patch of happiness there,

A small piece of love
Just held loosely
A long torn patch
of promises,
Few small pieces of denials
Many a silent days

All pasted loosely
With your words
Contradictory actions
And broken promises
On this self

Tell me
Am I looking good?
Am I complete?
Am I the piece of art
that you find worthy of love.

And then I see
This huge patch
Left empty
I wait anxiously
What patch will appear there

First sight; July 2009

I remember the day when I first saw her standing across the passage. I had gone home to meet my friends. The instance is crystal clear even today, as many times in the last few years, the flashes have kept the memory afresh. Her hair was clipped with a bow-bip as usual – one single tie on centre top, the rest of the lock of hair just effortlessly flowing down. She looked at me – for a moment – I thought it was a stern look that any guarded woman would give to a stranger. But she didn’t look one bit of a stranger to me. The few steps between me her were the slowest at that time. She was wearing a dark – what looked like a black –red – dress. Standing side ways, facing what I now know as uncle-auntie’s room. She had just recently had a bath, her hair was recently dried – was probably getting ready to leave for work – it was 10:30 in the morning on a week day. The slow walk of 5 steps that seemingly took about 6-8 seconds to traverse felt elongated.


Getting to know her over the last 16 years, she has literally grown on me. All over the years

It was difficult to understand what I felt for her as I never brooded over all the various instances when either I felt weak, I felt sky-high happiness around her, I felt lost, I felt my body temperature drop because I felt my being froze in front her, I felt time stop, I felt… I just felt all these things and many more. But never understood… never gave the importance it deserved. All through the years, I lived with the feeling, enjoying them as and when I felt them. Finally a day came when she wasn’t there. I looked around attempting to find her – just to find that she was gone! I panicked.

Take me with you; July 12 2009; 1:30 am

You go deep
In to your heart
Searching
For something
Take me with you
I want to be there
When you find it

You wander
Away in your mind
Following your
Deepest desires
Take me with you
I want to see
Them get fulfilled

You follow
Your inquisitive mind
In search of answers
In search of loopholes
In search of your self
Take me with you
I want to see you
Go through the change

Take me with you
When you take the next step
Take me with you
Whether
it’s the mountains
or the back waters
Take me with you
Whether its me
Or someone else

Take me with you
Where you ache to go
Take me with you
Where your true being shows

Take me with you
When you go for a walk
Take me with you
When you want to talk
Take me with you
When you go out
Take me with you
When you want to shout
Take me with you
When you go to work
Take me with you
When the day reveals s a smirk
Take me with you
When you are at home
Take me with you
When life throws you out of gear

In the end
Take me with you
When you ascend from this world
Cos’ that’s my last hope
To fully be with you.

The Night, July 17 2009; 2:40 pm

The night is quiet
She was howling
Forcing herself against
The glass
I could feel her
But couldn’t see her
I wondered if it was me

I opened the glass
To let her in
The howling continued
But the night was quiet
Very very quiet.